My dear little Flower Fox,
I spent 9 months of my life with you before you were born.
I knew when I was pregnant with you. It was a few weeks after Thanksgiving that I felt something different in my body.
Several weeks prior, your father and I were at Disneyland enjoying our yearly passes that we worked so hard to earn. When we were passing by a family with small children, I felt a jolt go through me—a hunger or need for motherhood. I believe God had a plan and was telling me that it was time to create you.
My pregnancy with you was not what I thought it would be. I had no idea what to expect other than the horror stories my friends were telling me. I read the books on parenting and pregnancy, but even with those, I made many mistakes as a pregnant first-time mother.
During the first 3 months, I was incredibly sick. I threw up each day and was dizzy most of the time. I could hardly work and had to ask for a lot of help. School became very difficult to navigate as well. I missed many classes and had to drop several due to the dangerous nature of the animal encounters I would be exposed to. If I knew then what I know about health now and college courses, I feel my pregnancy would have gone a lot smoother the first few months.
After the first 3 months, I felt a sense of calm and peace. My body felt the best it had ever felt in my life. You were giving me the nourishment I was missing.
I fell in love with your little feet and head, which stretched my tummy oh so much. Your dad sang and spoke to you each day, listening to your movements as he pressed his head on my belly. We couldn’t wait to see you.
At about 8 months, I stopped working and went on leave. We also had your baby shower, which was beautiful and truly prepared us for your birth. I had cravings for sugar during this time and ate all the pancakes I could. I ballooned up and gained a total of 25 pounds. The last two months were easy, and I was ready to see you.
Each doctor’s appointment was one step closer to having you with us, so I waited impatiently for them. I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a team during pregnancy. If I could do it again, I would have an MD from western medicine, an ND from holistic medicine, a traditional Chinese medicine doctor, a dietician that specializes in pregnancy, a midwife, and a fitness coach that specializes in eastern medicine practices.
My due date came, and my doctor decided to induce me that day. I was told to go to the emergency room of the hospital at that moment. I had not eaten that day, so I asked if I could fill my belly. I headed to Carl’s Jr. to get a meal (nutrition was unknown to me at this time). Your dad and I checked into the hospital, and within minutes I was administered antibiotics and the induction serum. My water broke, and I had to wait 40 minutes for the nurse to come by and clean the fluids (not an ideal situation or sanitary). I began to fall asleep, so I took a nap.
Four hours after the induction serum, I woke in extreme pain. My voice was hoarse, and I could hardly scream to your dad to get the doctor. I managed to wake him, and the doctor rushed in. I was told to immediately push as I was extremely drowsy. I was given an episiotomy without my consent, for which I have paid dearly to this day. I pushed and pushed, and you came out soon afterwards.
[There are many things I believe I could have avoided during my labor if I had known I could have said no to beforehand. Always advocate for your health and learn the laws.]
You had finally arrived. I got to hold you in my arms, and I looked
deeply into your gray-blue eyes.
My little Flower Fox, you became my entire life from that point on.
