When chronically ill, the last thing you want to do is do laundry, cook, drive tiny people around, drive yourself around, clean the house, attend events, or do anything else that involves more than is required to survive.
There are ways to lighten your load. Keep reading to find some ideas that may help you to lessen stress and give you more time to rest.
ASK FOR HELP
Why is it so difficult for some people to ask for help?
This is definitely a controversial topic that is influenced by culture and the environment one grew up in.
Not everyone believes they can ask someone else to take time out of their busy lives to care for them while they are suffering from a chronic condition.
Some people are taught to put their problems aside and get the job done, but that is very far from what a healthy lifestyle looks like. There are cultures that require them to put the needs of their families first before thinking of their own needs at all. These types of communities often teach shame for not being able to carry a heavy burden and take care of their daily responsibilities alone.
In other cultures, people are taught to ask for help when needed and to also give help when they see someone in need. This is definitely a healthier lifestyle to follow. Our society would be healthier overall if everyone was taught to be kind and patient with each other.
We should all feel that when we need some help, no shame will come from it, and that we can ask others to ease some burden off of us, at least temporarily.
If you feel you cannot ask for help during your illness, question why that is. Staying in a toxic environment that does not allow you to help yourself will prolong or completely halt your healing.
Do yourself a favor and work on feeling worthy enough to put your needs ahead of the needs of those that aren't dealing with an illness. If you are struggling, chances are those around you are as well, even if you can't see it or they aren't aware of it.
So take the time to be open to asking for help when you need it. You might be surprised at how beneficial it can be to your health journey.
WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
I've heard time and again how a broken down, scared, malnourished, sick parent will get up from their bed to make their child some food while the spouse, who is also broken down and worn out, sits on the couch watching TV after a long, difficult, and unforgiving day at work.
In this scenario, I can see both sides of who should make the child's meal. Sometimes it's better to ask for help in order to help yourself and your relationships.
If you can afford to pay for or find some free help, then do it! Stop caring about how it looks to friends, family, or co-workers. This is your health journey, not someone else's.
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When I was at my sickest, my husband was working 40-60 hour weeks and I was completely bedridden. He had to take over my part of the parenting, homeschooling, business, housekeeping, and finances. He was not well during this time, either, with the high stress and extreme lack of sleep my illness caused him. We ordered Doordash every day, used Instacart for groceries, had our teenager help me with daily tasks, asked friends and family to drive me to appointments, and took our child for a few hours so she felt normal until I didn't need these services anymore. It took me months until I could handle some things on my own again. I made sure the people who helped me during the toughest time of my life felt that I appreciated their time and care after I was feeling much better. |
BUDGET FOR HELP
Stress is the worst culprit when it comes to delayed healing. Having a ton of chores or daily tasks that you are struggling to complete can definitely cause a tremendous amount of mental harm.
To get some of the tasks off your plate, consider hiring some people.
Finding a way to pay for services that do chores you don't necessarily want to do can be costly, but it can help you reduce your stress load. If you can find some room in your budget, that can really help speed up your recovery as well.
FIND CASH TO PAY FOR SERVICES
Freeing up some money is a good way to pay for what you need. Get rid of your unnecessary subscriptions or find cheaper services to cover costs.
SOME WAYS TO FIND EXTRA CASH OR SAVE CASH:
Get rid of subscriptions temporarily
- nexflix
- HBO
- Disney Plus
- magazines
- food services
- product boxes
Find lower prices for:
- cable or satellite services
- high cell phone bills
- internetcar insurance
- move to a lower-priced apartment or home
- consider your electricity bill and how to lower it
| When considering places to move to, I was paying about $450 a month on electricity in an older building built in the 1950s. The newer homes I was looking into had a lower energy consumption, and I was looking at about $90 a month for electricity usage. That extra $360 was perfect for paying for services that helped me free up some time to rest. |
Although it's difficult to let go of what you are used to, keep in mind that this change is temporary and won't last forever, so it will be easier to make a decision on what you can remove from your monthly bills.
GET YOUR TEAM TOGETHER
Another great idea to aid you in recovery is to build your own team of helpers.
SOME IDEAS:
- delegate chores to neighbors
- pay a school kid whose parents you know
- make use of dog walking services
- try DoorDash, Instacart, Caviar, or Uber Eats
- order prepared meals (there are many nutritious options now)
- ask your children to assist; if they are homeschooled, they can get credit for home economics
- ask church members for assistance
- join a support group and make friends with whom you can trade chores with
Asking people you know for help can feel treacherous, but consider this: if they needed it, wouldn't you be there for them?
Once you've recovered from the worst of your illness, think about doing something nice for those who helped you so they know how much you appreciated them during your darkest hour. This way, there won’t be any animosity between anyone.
WRAPPING IT ALL UP
There is help out there. Asking for it is not as hard as you may think it is.
If you truly need it, you can find it.
The important thing to remember is that you should never feel alone or like you cannot ask for help. Do what you need to do for your recovery.